It’s not hard to notice our culture seems to run on two extremes:
On one extreme, we have the hookup culture. Hooking up is wrong simply because it’s completely selfish: we use another person for our own pleasure.
And on the other extreme, taking dating far too seriously like you date you marry kind of serious.
Ultimately, yes, the purpose of dating is to eventually get married; so, in that sense, we can’t date without any direction and play with people’s hearts. We must be bold and clear with the other person of our intentions. But it’s also a way you get to know people and finding someone you truly find compatible. So let’s find meet in the middle of these two extremes; dating with purpose, but having fun with it at the same time. Yes, this requires effort and actually trying.
I personally choose to date with purpose. At first, my thoughts were, I’m not about to lose my time and energy on someone while I could be out chasing my dreams. As I got older, that seemed kind of selfish and not the right reasoning of dating with purpose. Now that I have found a purpose here are a few things I’ve learned and why I keep choosing to date purposefully.
In order to cultivate something, it’s important to know what you want; simply having the openness to go out on dates with the sole idea of getting to know each other. Maybe this leads to a deeper relationship, maybe it doesn’t. Either way, the interaction is easier and more fun when it is not so intense because you know where you stand and what you can expect.
When you put a purpose to anything that you do in life, you automatically value it much more. You respect the ideas of others. You communicate (SPEAK) to one another. You create a friendship. There’s less temptation, more interaction, and honestly, more fun.
When you actually put effort and trying to think through why date someone brings you to self-awareness. This brings up a few points I would like to focus on.
When you become aware of your own values, your own worth, your own morals you will be a better version of yourself. When you become a better version of yourself – you will self-respect.
When you learn to love yourself just as you are and not depend on your other and on things to feel loved, feel happy – dating becomes more fun and less intense because you are not being dependent on others for self-love.
I do want to clarify that this does not keep you from having heartbreaks, I have them and they suck. This has help me guard my heart. It has helped me most importantly, pursue a relationship with God first. But not being afraid to have fun getting to know people in the process!