Oh my goodness guys, so much has happened in my personal life since the series of Embracing the Mystery began last year! Although it’s been a joy sharing with you guys my Mass reflections, I am ready to catch you guys up on my emotional, physical and spiritual changes in the last 10 months.
Well, Adrian and I said yes to life from the very beginning of our matrimony and God blessed us three months after our marriage. We conceived our perfect baby boy, and we dived into an experience of love never imagined. I will be focusing on my pregnancy in this post and share the birth experience in the next one!
Finding out we were pregnant was one of the happiest days of my life. Not only did Adrian and I want to conceive soon into our marriage, but it had always been a dream of mine to be a mother. Little did I know that this pregnancy was going to stretch me to new horizons spiritually and physically.
You can say I had the most perfect pregnancy… but it also comes with perspective. Last August I had a myomectomy where I had to get several large tumors from my uterus. There were risks of my uterus becoming damaged and therefore not be able to nurture a baby. So, yes evidentially when we got pregnant we were relieved and reminded of God’s mercy. This is where perspective comes in. Yes, I had morning sickness, I was losing muscle, gaining fat, and crying for no reason BUT it was all worth it because this momma was able to defy odds and conceive a baby in her damaged uterus. Again, it may have been a miserable pregnancy but because I was so thankful all the changes were welcome and embraced.
I am terrified of comfort zones, and although I had always dreamed of being a mother this by no means I knew what this meant. My parish in Rome is St. Mary’s and although I had walked in and out of our church hundreds of times there was now something there that uncomforted me. It was the statue of Mary at the altar. Guys, when I say I avoided that image a few times I am not kidding. I knew that being called to be a mother connected me with Mary on a different level, and that Mary was going to be my new model of faith in this particular journey. This spiritually terrified me—-the idea of being a mom living with the comfort zones of my own securities frightened me. I knew the moment I embraced Mary and her motherhood, my calling to be a mother was going to go beyond the visual it will and needs to transcend the worldly views of what a mother is. Do I know what this looks like? No. I do know Mary will be my go to in moments of joy, pain, and confusion. It wasn’t till one-day afternoon Mass that I looked up at Mary and I saw her holding her son, where I was able to consecrate my motherhood and baby to her (with a few tears).
In conclusion, my pregnancy was a life-changing, amazing experience and I miss my belly! It was such a mystery of love. The night cuddles with Adrian and baby in my belly were perfect gifts that only God can give and I will forever cherish.
“Make no mistake about this, my dear brothers: all that is good, all that is perfect, is given us from above; it comes down from the Father of all light…”
Santiago (James) 1:16-17
Joandra Mendoza – Writer, unparalleled love