1. a shy, reticent person.
It was Pre- K when I knew something was different about me. I saw all the kids playing together while I was swinging by myself during recess. This is my first memory of this feeling and till this day is still present; a feeling of anxiousness that everyone is judging me when I walk in a room, the fear they can see my lack of confidence, the million things that goes through my head before making a simple yes or no decision. No, I’m not bored I just I have social anxiety. Yes, I’m passionate about this presentation but I can’t help that I just choked on my words. This happens when I’m in social situations. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t act like my friends. They could pick up a conversation so fast with a stranger. I couldn’t comprehend why it was so hard to get over my shyness and start acting like other people. It wasn’t until after my junior year in HS that I found on Facebook an introvert vs extrovert article. I had no idea what those terms meant and OMG! I couldn’t believe after reading that, that there were more people that knew just what goes inside my brain! After accepting my introversion, I was introduced to more people like me. For the first time I didn’t feel alone, awkward or misunderstood. I don’t see being an introvert as a disadvantage anymore. It’s actually pretty rewarding. Accepting and serving God has also challenged the crap out of my shyness! I’ve been able to break barriers that I once thought I couldn’t because of my anxiety… not that they ended up being a success, but I did it. I believe one of the reasons I believe in myself is because of all the work my church Young Adult Coordinator has entrusted and believed me with.
That’s not to say it’s easy. Just a year ago I had this great opportunity to move up positions with the company I work for, but because I was going to have to go and do a legit interview; (which would be my first interview) I declined the offer and made the biggest excuse not to go for it. I didn’t think I was good enough or capable to take on the job. My #1 critic, my husband, was the one who had to push me and remind me that I was capable. If it wasn’t for him, I would probably be back being a hostess, but now I’m blessed to have an incredible job that pushes every inch of me out of my comfort zone. Needless to say, I still at times get uncomfortable especially when I know I have to meet new people, but I just push myself to be the best Introvert Jeny there is.
If you’re like me, I would say don’t give up! It is possible to overcome fears. Make friends, be social on your own awkward terms and take jobs you never thought you could do; like me who choose to work in marketing even though I dropped out of my marketing classes in college because I had to do a presentation haha! Oh man, how life works when you believe just a bit in yourself.
“Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” ― Francis of Assisi
Jenyfer D. Navichoque – Writer, unparalleled love