For a while, I was enlightened by His word and all of His goodness in my everyday life. I was convinced that He was alive and present in His church. I remember having problems but nothing that I couldn’t solve by talking to Him and when misunderstandings were presented within our youth group, we had the best spiritual advisors to direct us on the right path. Here I was, the girl who was in love with Christ, the one who had the “good girl” title, the one who was scared to look left or right because I didn’t want to fail.
As a teenager, my perfect bubble was bursting little by little. I was facing the reality of life. I was facing heartbreaks and betrayals from my close “friends”. Not only that, but also I was facing all of what the world had to offer me: to have fun and please my desires. Going through this transition was really tough since I felt the pressure of being good or always doing the right thing. The pressure wasn’t at home but also within the community. I felt stuck between two worlds (church & society). I was feeling that my love for Christ was obligated, I was doing my service with all that I had but at the same time it was like nothing. It felt empty. I felt as if I was falling out of love with my Creator. I began to live my life with no limits, but I knew I was only betraying myself because I still had the good girl title. I was justifying my sin with little things like “oh I will just go to confession on Sunday! It’s not a big deal! My God will always forgive me!” I remember drowning within myself. I was afraid to accept my sin and look for help because of what people were going to think of me. I learned that God will always look out for us and through special people, His help will come. It took me awhile to find my love for Christ again, to forgive and ask for forgiveness, and to trust in people like I used to and that was all possible with His grace. Now I have a better understanding of the reality of the world and how God wants us to be a part of it.
We have best of both worlds so why not combine them. You can be good practicing Catholic and drink a glass of wine, go out to dance, have gatherings with friends and play dominos. You can be whatever you want to be without losing sense of who you’re in love with; Christ.
“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world ablaze.” – Saint Catherine of Siena
Now, people ask me if I go out and have fun and if I like adventures, or even if I have problems. As a 23-year-old, and I’m not afraid to respond YES. I do normal things just like anybody else my age would do with the exception that I know my worth is in Christ and not the world. I have a bucket list for my adventures: skydive, bungee jumping, get lost with my soulmate, endless road trips and much more. Just because I’m a practicing Catholic does not mean I’m free from problems and sin. Maybe now I do face problems from a different perspective which makes life a bit better, but I’m definitely not free from sin or temptation!!!
I have found a balance in my life that gives me the freedom to be myself without being afraid of always trying to do the right thing or admitting my failure in sin.
I want to invite you to find a balance in your life! Put it on the scale, see what you have excess of or what’s lacking!
Yes, it is possible to live in a world that lacks morals and values as a Catholic Christian I can assure you that!
I’m not perfect but at least I’m in love with the perfect One.
Claudia Navichoque – Writer, unparalleled love