Four months after my husband and I got married –before we could even settle down and get comfortable in our new roles as husband and wife, we first became parents. Instead of hosting a housewarming party (which is typically what a newlywed couple plans), during those first 4 months, we were hosting our baby shower.
Halfway into our first year of marriage and of our son’s life, our relationship started to take a toll and it was also the year I learned something very important: My husband is my priority. Don’t get me wrong in this aspect. There is no first place between husband and children, but simply in my case, my husband and maintaining our relationship healthy is my priority. It is so easy for us mommas to devote our full attention to our little ones all the time. They are sincerely dependent upon us. They legitimately need us for survival. During the stage of nurturing the child, I had no time to do anything for myself. I lived in my jeans and t-shirts and it was a moment that I was not able to spend time and focus on my husband like I should have or like I used to or spend a few weekends with my girls. During this time, it can be so hard to remember that our husbands need us too! Our husbands feel neglected, and even though they understand, they can’t help that they start to feel insignificant, unloved and uncared for and in last place.
The problem comes when this habit of “I live for my children right now” becomes a lifetime, and I hear you! I’m tired too but my marriage matters significantly because at the end of the day the person I’m going to grow old with is my husband, not my child.
The one thing my husband and I do to keep our marriage running smoothly and progressively is that we take time for ourselves. Just him and I.
You will not find our baby in our bed at night, for this is our night-time. Our time to be together. If we have a free weekend, we are gone for a parent getaway — no baby, no shame, no guilt. A night out with our friends, we love those! Having “downtime” where we just stay at home, order to go food, watch a movie and relax is something simple but yet means so much to the both of us because we are together growing and bonding. You have no idea how much my man enjoys just staying home!!
I’m beyond blessed to have a family who loves taking care of our son while we are out so that we can continue our bond and keep up that spark!
One of the best gifts you can give your child is for them to grow up witnessing their parents’ true, tender love, forgiveness, and a happy, successful marriage. In my opinion, my husband and I are a firsthand example for our child of what being in a happy marriage is like. Our kids learn how they should treat their future significant other by watching us value, honor and respect each other.
“A man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife. And they become one flesh” –Genesis 2;24
Jenyfer D. Navichoque – Writer, unparalleled love